“You never get a second chance to make a first impression.”
How often do we make a judgment about someone because of a “sense” or a “feeling” we have when we first meet them? Sometimes it is safe to call these feelings “discernment” but I wonder if the majority of our “senses” or “feelings” about people really stem from good judgment or if they are simply prejudice.
All of us have prejudices (that is, we tend to pre-judge things based on our previous experiences) and while many of us will acknowledge this to be true, most of us don’t realize how much our prejudices influence us. The way we were brought up, the circumstances, and the people that surrounded us profoundly influence the perceptions we make when meeting someone or experiencing something new. This, of course, is not necessarily a bad thing. It can be good for us to have “filters” to help us determine what is appropriate and what is not. The problem is that many times our filters are dirty; coated in the “dust” of human experience.
Those who profess to follow Christ need to be especially careful not to allow flawed, human prejudice to interfere with true discernment. We need to ask Christ to “service” our “filters” so that we can make good judgments (some of us actually need Him to replace our filters)! Better said, we need to ask HIM to be our filter.
When I was little, I used to sing a song based on 1 Samuel 16:7. The words were, “God does not see the same way people see, God does not see the same way people see. People look at the outside of a person, but the Lord looks at the heart…” Just because someone behaves differently, talks about subjects that are somewhat foreign to us, or communicates in a manner that makes us uncomfortable, does not mean anything is “wrong” with them. God made each member of His body distinct, with strengths and weaknesses that may differ from our own, but are no less important or useful (yes, God uses even the weaknesses).
The apostle Paul wrote that if we want to discern what is good, acceptable, and perfect we must first be transformed. “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…” (Romans 12:2) “’For My thoughts are not your thoughts nor are your ways My ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘For as the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways.’” (Isaiah 55:8-9) The only way to truly appreciate, understand, and love the people Christ loves (which is everyone) is to be filled with His Spirit. Only then will we be able to discern our own discernment.
Next time we find ourselves in the company of someone or something that makes us uncomfortable or just plain baffles us, let’s take a few steps back and ask ourselves whether we are being influenced by our own, dusty, human filters (our prejudice) or by Christ’s grace. While we really will and do face “spiritual” conflicts in relationships (James 4:1-10), far too many underlying conflicts are merely personality clashes; and, the truth is, personalities won’t “clash” if we are walking in love.
By His grace, let’s try to be “sensible” (sensitive) to the Holy Spirit, not our own.
“Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment.” John 7:24
Peace,
Stephanie Staples – Rostad
